Hello. My brain has been fighting with itself for the past few months. Maybe longer. I love doing comedy and know that if I focused on selling myself I could do well at it. I already do pretty well in the comedy world. I headline a lot of gigs around Scotland and have a decent following in my solo shows at the Edinburgh festival. I have always known that if I want to go up a few levels I need to be able to focus 100 percent on my comedy, both in creating more material and promoting myself and building an audience. I gave up a full time job a few years ago and after a bit of struggle financially for a few years I ended up working for an agency for a warehouse in Cumbernauld. A few miles up the road from me. This job suited my situation because It was flexible enough that it allowed me to do the gigs I wanted and it also gave me the shifts I needed to pay my bills. I was working there for three years and I suppose it worked for me for that time. The problem I had with the job was that it was mind numbing. It bored me to death and when I got home I was always too tired to do anything regarding my comedy stuff. For three years I became a bit stuck in that situation. The work was in a warehouse and to be honest it was quite a negative environment. The people I worked with were great , but the job was mind numbing. Nobody was really happy in the job. I hated when people asked me about it. “How was work today” Fuck up, lets go to the happy place and talk about puppies or something.
Anyway for a while I wanted to leave the job and go all in on my comedy and other stuff I do. I was stuck in the story in my mind that a day job was what paid the bills and gave me security. This drove me nuts. I knew logically that a bit of hard work on selling myself and creating my own gigs would work and give me enough money to live on and pay the bills. I have a mortgage and the fear of losing my flat kept me in this shite job. Although I knew these things, the mentality that I needed the day job was always there. I wanted to leave but was clearly shiting myself. I knew that during the Edinburgh festival that I always do pretty well financially but the social conditioning kept me in the fucking shit job. aaaaaaagh.
I feel like mentally I was in the movie the shawshank Redemtion. You know the movie where the guy takes 20 years to break free. I was in jail mentally. All I had to do was dig my way through a hole and crawl through a big shite pipe to freedom.
My decision to leave got stronger over the past few months. There was a few things that eventually caused me to make the move. I stopped reading newspapers and watching the news a few years ago. That helped a lot. I have been watching a lot of personal development stuff on youtube and reading a lot of books on this stuff. People slag this stuff off, but its fucking life changing shit. I have come to realise that we are not out past experiences, we are not the beliefs that we got from our parents or from our teachers or from society. We are not our debt or the limitations set by social conditioning, we are not what other people in our industry think of us, we are not what we think other people think about us. We are much more than that. We are all capable of doing much more than we think we can. Although I knew all this shit logically a bit of my brain was still keeping me stuck in the fucking day job . Three fucking years. Holy shit.
A big fear I have is getting to the end of my life and looking back and realising I never took the chances I should have taken when I was younger.
Anyway I made a decision to leave on Monday last week. I have a show coming up next week in Glasgow. Friday the 19th at Victorias (Shameless plug) GET TICKETS HERE. THe idea is to ignore the negative inner voice and sayu fuck it and do things I would not usually do. Last weekend I did a couple of random gigs. One in Edinburgh. THis was a gig where I was doing a wee bit before a guy who came over from America called Mishka Shubally. He is a singer who did a bit of support for Doug Stanhope. I did the gig because I though it would be cool meeting this guy. When I did the gig I plugged my upcoming gig in Victorias. The audience enjoyed my stuff and quite a few of them bought tickets for my show. I also managed to sell a few tickets on the train on the way back from Edinburgh. As well as selling these tickets there was a couple in the audience who had booked Mishka to do a gig in their converted garage in Paisley. They liked my stuff and asked me if I fancied coming over on the Sunday and doing some stand up in their garage before Mishka done his bit. I though ” Fuck it I’ll do it” I went along on the Sunday did about twenty minutes before Mishka. Half of the people that were there bought tickets for my gig I must be doing something right.
For years I have had this idea that I can’t do marketing and can’t sell myself, but that weekend proved me wrong. My brain was full of shit. I actually can sell myself. I just need to show people that I am pretty good at stand up and tell them what my show is about. Its all a win win for me and the audience. That was the breakththrough weekend that took me from knowing logically that I could leave my job and go full pelt into comedy. I have a plan of what I plan to do. I’m going to set up loads of gigs, do a daily podcast, maybe a daily blog, and daily videos. THe day job is gone now. My last day was yesterday. I feel great about it, a bit scared as well, but with just the right amount of pressure to give me the push I need to follow through with shit.
I couldn’t be writing a show called the Fuck it list if I still had a day job.
Come and support me and find out what else is going to be on the fuck it list at my gig next Friday in Glasgow. You can book tickets here.
Enjoy your weekend.
Obie. You are only one fuck it away from changing everything
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