Obie The Comedian

+ Memory Man

What are you looking for?

What are you looking for?


I was thinking about this the other day. When I say what you are looking for I don’t mean what you are looking for as a career or what are you looking for in life as in goals in the future. What I mean is What are you looking for on a daily basis. What are you on about I here you say. Well I’ll explain. I think it’s great having goals and having stuff to work towards in your life but if what you do on a day to day basis isn’t in alignment with this then it won’t happen. There is also the idea the reason that people have goals in the future is to give them something emotional in return. But what about now. What is the point in spending twenty years or more of your life doing something you detest to achieve a goal in twenty years. You have missed the past twenty years when you could have been happy then.


Anyway I’ve gone off on one there. What I’m getting at is that our lives are not happening in the future our life’s are happening now. Not tomorrow or on the weekend that you are planning to go out on the town. Life is happening now. As you read this your life is happening. Here and fucking now. There is no past or future. The past is gone. There is not a lot you can do about what happened there. What’s done is done. The future is never going to happen. It doesn’t exist. The only thing that ever exists is here and now. You clicked on a link to read this a few moments ago. That is now in the past. You are here now. You might as well have fun while you are here.

Fuck. Back on track again. Oh aye. What are you looking for on a daily basis? I think this is an important question to ask yourself. I struggled a bit there to write this next bit. I’m trying to work out what my brain wants to say. I failed my Higher English twice. J I suppose I can explain this by examples. I reckon everybody has certain things they look for on a daily basis. By things I don’t mean physical things. I mean things like problems, happiness, excitement, things to piss them off, opportunities, things to make them angry e.t.c.

Here are some examples of what I mean. I’ll do this in number form. My old English teachers wouldn’t like this but fuckem J


The first five things I have came up with is negative things people look for on a daily basis. Are any of these on your list of what you are looking for every day.

  1. Problems. Are you someone or do you know someone who is always looking for problems. Always having problems on the back of your mind like “ Fuck I don’t know how I’m going to pay that bill” “ This job is shite, I’m never going to get out of it” “ Fucking traffic holding me up all day” etc . Every day you find problems everywhere and it pisses you off. You might feel frustrated a lot of the time.
  2. Things to offend you. We all know people like this. They are always offended by something. Constantly posting stuff on Facebook about things that offend them.


Always posting about somebody or some group that has pissed them off, or complaining about something somebody said to them at work that day. If you are one of those people feel free to be offended by this bit. It’s your thing after all. J

  1. Things to worry about. Are you a worrier or do you know someone who is constantly worried. “ The Russians are going to blow us up” “ The terrorists are coming” “ Donald Trump is going to fuck the world up” etc We all know some of these people. Think about all the things you have worried about in the past. Probably only a small percentage of these things have happened, and the ones that did happen probably weren’t that bad. Stop it worrying is a waste of time.
  2. Excuses. This is a common one as well. Are you always looking for excuses to why you can’t do something. Like I don’t have the time. Really? How much time did you spend on Facebook today or watching shite on TV.
  3. Things to be depressed about. If you read the tabloid newspapers you will find loads of shit to be depressed about. Kidnapping ,murder war, nuclear weapons, terrorists. Loads of shit. There is loads of good stuff going on in the world. That doesn’t sell papers though does it. I stopped buying newspapers a few years ago and I feel better for it.


My point of writing this thing is that we all have a choice of what we look for every day. If you are looking for problems you will find them. If you are looking for someone to piss you off then you will find them easy. You might be doing this unconsciously but you are doing it all the same. So what I’m saying here is that you should try changing what you are looking for on a daily basis. Here are some example I have plucked out of my head.


  1. 1.      Laughter. What if one of the things you looked for every day was laughter. Rather than getting pissed off if you get stuck in a traffic jam why not look for the humour in it. Laugh at how angry other people are getting rather than getting angry at the traffic jam. Is that a woman picking her nose is the Mini. Ha ha. Give her a wave. Your brain is an amazing computer make stuff up in your head to make things funny. Imagine the fat guy in the car behind you naked. Well maybe not but you get the idea. I think.
  2. 2.      Opportunities. If you spent your day with the idea that there are opportunities everywhere how would that change your outlook? Going back to the traffic jam just as an example. You could easily find it as a way to feel pissed off about the world. “ Why does this always happen to me?” Or you could have the idea in your head that there might be opportunities around you. The girl in the mini sitting across from you might be single. Roll down the window and say hello. Even if she isn’t you might have a nice conversation and a bit of a laugh with her. Better than being pissed off isn’t it. If you are female there is always the naked fat guy in the car behind. Give him a wave J
  3. 3.      Excitement. What if you were always expecting something exciting to happen? Would this affect your mood on a day to day basis? What if you just found most things exciting rather than boring or mundane? Remember you used to get excited as a kid going on a bus or in the car. Now you might find it boring or mundane. See if you can find the excitement again.
  4. 4.      Magic. What if you spent some of your time looking for magic? You might think I have gone mad now. Maybe I have J Well my idea is that what if you went out looking for magic. I don’t mean seeing people fly and stuff. What I mean is. What if you went out looking for the magic of life? Like the stars in the sky at night or how amazing the sun is. What about the magic of life. We are all here by pure fluke. Your mother and father met by pure coincidence. Your experience of life is unique to anyone else and there will never be anyone like you ever again. It’s all magic. In this very moment you have an infinite number of things you can do. Each can lead to different outcomes. Look for magic and see how that changes what you do.

I probably could have structured this better but I hope I got my ideas out there. The point of it is that you get what you focus on. Not just on a long term basis but every day. How would your life change if you focused more on opportunities rather than problems? Would you have a better life if you looked for excitement and magic rather than things to piss you off and things that offend you?

There is a part of the brain called the reticular activation system. It is responsible for filtering all the information coming into your brain from your five senses. What it filters is determined on what you focus on or what you consciously look for on a daily basis. Have a think about what you usually look for every day. Is this a good thing or would it be worthwhile changing what you look for.

This has been my ideas coming out of my head. Hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think. Give me some feedback. I’m a comedian so every day I’m looking for validation of my existence J


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I have been thinking about goals and what I really want in life. When I was younger I started getting into self help books. The first one I read was Think and Go Rich by Napolian Hill. At the timne I loved it and got me all excited about life. At the time I wrote down a load of goals the I thought I wanted at the time. The goals involved being a succesfull engineer and making a million quid before I was 30. I think I wanted to do comedy back then as well, but I think I was too scared to admit it to myself for some reason. It wasn’t normal. I was maybe scared of people laughing at me for having such a daft ambition.

I done pretty well and went on and got a degree in Engineering. Woohoo. I remember at the time before an exam someone in my class was putting themselves under loads of pressure. They had to do well because the results determined how the rest of their career went. Scary shit. There have been stories of people doing badly in exams and killing themselves. Shit.

Anyway. Where was I going with this. There is a point somewhere. I was in my local pub on New Years Eve. Yes I know. Living the dream and that. I met an old friend of mine. THis guy is twenty odd years older than me. He was a lecturer when I did a year in Coatbridge college before I went to University. At the time I was pretty good at maths e.t.c. My lecturer friend at the time was very encouraging. Always thought I was very clever and I would do well for myself in a proffessional career like engineering. I had a few beers with him in the pub on new years eve. At one point he said to me in a dissapointed tone of voice ” You could have been a contender”. He then went on to tell me that I could have had a great proffessional career as a lecturer or something along those lines. I then told him that I was doing exactly what I want in my life and that my career was going to plan. After a discussion about it. (Well a shouty discussion because the dj in the puib was too fucking load. Shut it ya dick.) He gave me a drunken hug and said he was proud of me whatever I do. I could tell though that there was a bit of dissapointment in his voice. Obie could have been a great lecturer. Why is he following this comedy nonsence. His goal for me was clearly different that what I really wanted.

Anyway that made me think about how people see success and goals. I could have went on and followed the proffessional career. I could have been an Engineer or a good lecturer, but too be honest that bored me to death. The lecturer friend at one point said ” You have never realised the potential you have. ou were always acting the clown when you could have been something” . The thing is I di realise what I had but acting the clown was more fun. Engineers are boring :)

Anyway back to goals. The first set of goals I wrote down years ago were shite. I think at the time I was influenced by careers advisors and what teachers thought my career should be. I always had the secret ambition of doing stand up. My stand up goals have varied from doing a solo show at the Secc to traveling the world and making a million quid and becomeing famous. But after a bit of thought over the years. I think I have finally come to the conclusion to what the real goal is. The real goal now is Freedom.

What? Freedom. What you on about Obie. I think freedom is what we all really want deep down. We maybe think we live in a free word, but millions of people around the world spend forty or fifty years of their lives doing jobs they don’t particularly like for a company that decides when they work and when they can go on holiday for a few weeks a year. If you work hard all these years you might be given a pension when you are sixty five when you might get a bit of freedom at the end of it.

That doesn’t sound like freedom to me. Maybe if people are happy doing that then its fine, but for me its scary as fuck.

My goal now is more freedom in my life. I have a bit more now. I left a full time day job a few years ago to persue my comedy career. I now have a zero hours contract job that is flexible enough that I can do more a run of gigs somewhere without having to go to work as well. I’m still not totally free yet, but closer than I was. How do I do that. THe thing thats keeping me from freedom is money. I have to make money to pay bills so that I can eat and have somewhere to stay. This is a pain in the arse.

After a bit of research over the years I have learned that you can either trade your time for money can make give people a service for money. So in order to make more money a good way of doing it it to serve as many people as possible with the least amount of time spent. This is where passive incomes come in. I’ve recently produced my first online course on memroy training. I’m quite proud of it. I’m now earning a bit of extra money every month from it without having to do anything much. So over the next year or so I’m going to be working on more passive income steams like this. I’m going to be doing more courses and have some other ideas as well. Might even write a book about Freedom. Maybe.

Anyway. I don’t think there was much structure to that blog. Just getting my ideas out. So what are my goals in life? What is my purpose? I’d still like to be a millionaire and do big tours around the world doing comedy and maybe be a bit famous, but the real goal is Freedom. I want o be free to do what I want when I want. To do a wee tour of gigs for a month in a camper van around the Highland and then go traveling for a month. I want to be free to fuck off to Newyork for a weekend at the drop of a hat without having to save up and ask my employer if I can have time off months in advance. I want to be able to go to the airport and pick a random destination on the day and just fuck off for a week or so.

I want to be free to do what I love for a living a do whatever I want when I want. Is this too much to ask. Is it fuck. I’m closer than I was a few years ago. Fuck the system Freedom is the new goal.


Here is the Soup dragons singing about freedom :)




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What Would Derren Brown Do? Day 1.

What Would Derren Brown Do? Day 1.


I’m writing a show that I’m going to do in the Glasgow Comedy festival in March and the Edinburgh festival in August called what would Derren Brown do? I decided on this show because I like what Derren Brown does and he has a lot of useful skills that would be useful to help me achieve the goals in my life. The premise behind the show is to change my life by asking myself “ What would Derren Brown Do? I’ve been playing about with the idea for a few months now and I have some ideas, but I don’t have anything solid yet.


For research I have been reading Derren Brown’s book Trick Of The Mind and watching a lot of Derren Brown old videos on Youtube.


I watched a video yesterday called Hero at 30,000 ft where Derren takes a guy  who has no confidence and within 30 days gives him a lot more confidence, helps him overcome fears and by the end of the show the guy was scared of flying lands a plane where the pilot has went unconscious. It is of course a simulation, but Derren uses his hypnotic skills to make him believe he is landing a real plane. Great show and the transformation of the guy during the show is amazing.


During the show there is a 30 day countdown which takes the guy from an unconfident guy to becoming a hero in that time. THis gave me the idea of seeing if I can do the same. Can I make a dramatic change in my life in 30 days. So how am I going to do that then. Well about half an hour ago I had the idea that I could get a coach to help me get where I want to be. However I’m a bit skint and can’t afford one. I’d love to have Derren Brown as a coach to help me reach my goals but I don’t think that’s going to happen. I’m a big believer is the imagination being a powerful tool that we don’t use enough in life so I’ve had the idea of imagining what It would be like if Derren Brown was my coach in life. How would the conversation go and what would the outcome be. So as part of writing the show for the festival I am going to have imaginary coaching sessions with Derren Brown. Are you fucking mad I hear you say. Well maybe, but it’s my idea and you will just have to deal with it so there.


So I’m going to attempts to attempt to have imaginary coaching sessions with Derren Brown over the next 30 days. THe first one will begin bellow. p.s. I’m just going with the flow here to see what happens. Here is Derren coming in now.


Me: Hello Derren. Thanks for coming along and helping me out.


Derren. No problem Obie. Do you mind if I call you Obie?


Me: Thats fine no problem.


Derren. Ok Cool. What where would you like to start with these sessions.

Me: Well first of all. Do you think 30 days of talking to an imaginary Derren Brown will help me in anyway in my life and help me in writing this new show.


Derren: Well yes of course it can. I know I’m not the real Derren Brown, but I am part of your subconscious mind that has all the answers. All good hypnotist, psychologists and NLP practitioners know that we all have the resources inside us to become the best version of ourselves and achieve a lot more than we think we can.


Me. Magic. Thanks Derren. That makes sense.


Derren: No problem Obie. Where do you want to start with this.


Me. I’m not 100 percent Derren. What would you suggest.


Derren: Well you could start by what goals you have and where you are at the moment.


Me: Ok. Well at the moment I have a shitty day job, I’m single as fuck, I’ve lost my mojo, I’m sklint and am frustrated with my stand up because I don’t think I am doing as well as I think I should. I have a good following in Edinburgh and headline a lot of gigs, but I’m still not making enough from it. It pisses me off.


Derren: OK that’s where you are just now. Where do you want to be in a 30 days from now.


Me: Why 30 days.


Derren. Well you said you wanted to make big changes in 30 days.


Me: Oh aye so I did. How did you know that.


Derren: Well because I’m not the real Derren Brown. I’m just a part of you.


Me: Of course. I forgot. You were becoming a bit real there.


Derren. Don’t let me become too real. That’s when you will end up in the loony bin.


Me: Fair point Derren. Ok So where do I want to be in 30 days from now. Shit. You are putting me under pressure now.


Derren: That’s good. Giving yourself a time constraint is good. Stops you fucking about as much.


Me: Ok. One of the main things I want to do this year is to do more solo shows with my stand up. Definitely more profitable than doing shows for other people.

Derren: Ok. What’s stopping you from doing that.


Me: Probably lack of organisation. I spend too much time of Facebook each day and watching stuff on youtube and Netflix to get going.


Derren. Well at least you have made a start my getting your creative juices going by writing this imaginary coaching session.


Me: That’s true. Do you think I will get some funny stuff from it.


Derren. Well hopefully. Just keep going. Don’t try and be funny just let the funny appear from the ether,


Me: Fair enough.


Derren. So what are you going to do in the next month to get your solo shows up and running.


Me: Well I need to get myself a better routine.


Derren: Good. I would suggest doing some things that keep you in a positive frame of mind. Keep you motivated happy and productive.


Me: What would you suggest.


Derren: Well you have all those Self development books that you have read. Pick some of the best exercises from them and do them on a daily basis. Every morning if possible. You have signed up to running the Edinburgh marathon as well so get out there running a few times a week and also get yourself to the gym. These things will all make you feel great, positive and productive. Also give yourself some stuff you have to do for the next 30 days that you must do. Make it happen. It seems difficult just now but It can be done. Give me a list of things you can do over the next 30 days to make your life better.


Me: Ok thanks for that Derren. For the next thirty days I plan to do the following.

  1. Get a list of solo shows lined up until for the next few months. Have at least twenty solo shows lined up.

  2. Get a list of promoters around the UK and get a load of gigs lined up. Work this around solo shows.

  3. Speak to Creative Scotland for help on marketing my solo shows and maybe getting funding.

  4. Write every day for at least an hour.

  5. Run at least three miles a day.

  6. Do the convict conditioning workout every day.

  7. Have two shows for the Edinburgh festival lined up.

  8. Do a month of juicing from the start of January.

Derren: That’s Sounds good Obie. For your homework for tomorrow have a more structured list of all the things you need to do every day including the list of mind exercises to do in the morning or during the day.


Me: Ok Cool. I’ll get a list for tomorrow. Thanks for your help.


Derren: No problem.

Well that was an interesting interview. I have some work to do now. I don’t think I have found much funny stuff for the show yet, but I’ll just keep writing pish until stuff turns up.


p.s. This is unedited. Fuck redrafting stuff. What you see is what you get and all that.


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Highlights of 2015.

Highlights of 2015.


I think its always a good idea to look at the good things that happened during the year rather than dwelling on bad things. I reckon I’ve had a pretty decent year this year. Still some things I could have done better, but fuck it. Life is always a work in progress. Perfection is for losers J


Here are my highlights in no particular order.

  • I got paid two months wages to pretend to be a haggis tracker for five minutes.  This was back in February. Read more about this here. Its on my Facebook page. THought it was on here.
  • Produced and filmed online memory course.

I’ve being doing memory training workshops for a few years. I have wanted to do an online course for a few years now.  My procrastination has held me back from doing it until now. This year though I thought fuck it and got it done. I didn’t have the money to get it filmed but I managed to find a production company that were willing to film it form me for free and take fifty percent of the profit for the first year, then a lesser profit after that.

  • Solo Shows outside Edinburgh.

I did a few more solo shows outside the Edinburgh festival this year. Doing the Edinburgh festival has always been good for me. For the past few years I manage to make some good money from it. If I could make that kind of money from my comedy then I would easily make comedy my full time career.

The way I do the shows at the festival is doing them for free and then at the end I get my bucket out and ask the audience to make a donation. The pitch I give them is that they should pay what they think the show is worth. This system works well because most audience members are fairly generous and pay more for shows where I am on top form.

So I did a few shows like this outside the Edinburgh festival to see if the system works there as well. It did. So next year I’m going to work on doing a lot more of these gigs. I’ve given myself a target of 100 solo free gigs outside the festival. If you have any ideas of venues or how I can best get people in drop me a message, Cheers J


  • Most successful Edinburgh festival.

The Edinburgh festival  was great fun this year. I did two solo shows a day for three weeks a compilation show with Dan Willis called Jocks and Geordies. All free shows with a donation at the end. Had a great run of shows, a lot of full rooms, made enough money to have a good time while I was there and a bit left over by the end of August.  I’ve been doing the festival for years and I have managed to build a following of people who come and see me every year. Next year I want to build on this and do more shows like these outside the festival in venues around the country.

  • Second Edinburgh marathon.

I ran the Edinburgh marathon for the second time. Not on the same day. Don’t be daft. I ran my first marathon six years ago. The first time I put a lot of training in and did it in 4 hours 12 minutes. Not too bad. This year I did a bit of training, but no where near as much as I did six years ago. I managed to complete it in 4 hours 27 minutes. A lot better than I expected this year. This was after finishing walking Hadrians wall a few days earlier. A lot of people said I was mad to do both in the same week and I should reconsider. Fuck them. Being sensible doesn’t get you anywhere.

  • Hadrians Wall.

In May I got invited along with a load of comics from Newcastle area to do a charity walk for Alzheimer’s. The walk was about 100 miles I think, The walk took seven days and we did a gig in different venues along the way every night. Had a great time made some good mates and hopefully I’ll be doing the same next year.

  • Stopped my flat from being repossessed.

Ever since I left my full time job I’ve struggles a bit financially. Trying to go full time doing comedy isn’t easy. This year my flat almost got repossessed. I managed to stop that happen. Finasnces are gradually getting better. Sometimes things like this are a great motivator to get things done.

  • Firewalk.

Did a Firewalk for charity a few months ago. Was great fun. As well as the firewalk we did an arrow break which involved breaking a wooden arrow the soft part of your neck. That was scarier than the firewalk itself. Your instincts make you think the arrow will go through your neck. Pushing the arrow is scary, but a good metaphor for doing stuff despite the fear. The buzz after it was worth it.

  • Started learning how to play the guitar.

This year I started learning the guitar. Something I wanted to do for years. I finally got a guitar and have learned to play Wild Thing very badly. J



I think its important to look back at the year you have just had to see the good things that’s have happened. I think its been pretty good. There is some other stuff I’d liked to have added to the list but life is a work in progress.


Here is a wee list of goals I have for 20016.


  • Take more chances with women. I have lost my mojo with women over the past few years. I used to be pretty good at chatting up women. Now I’m shit at it. I’ve lost my confidence in that area somewhere over the years. There was a couple of times this year when I though about asking someone out, but never got round to it. I reckon there is some part of my brain that thinks I’m not good enough. Well that parts a dick. Next year I want to take morte chances. If I get a knockback so what. Just need to move on to the next one J This is a big work in progress for 2016. Where’s the burdz.
  • Do more solo shows. Last year my solo shows went pretty well. Doing them free with a collection at the end is a good idea. On average these gigs are fairly profitable for me so this year I am planning to do a lot more like this. Also need to do a bit more research on how to sell my ass to get a big crowd in. If I have a microphone and a decent size audience I do a good job. Just need to figure out how to get regular audiences.  I’m going to give myself a target of doing 100 solo shows this year. I usually do about fifty during the festival so another fifty during the year shouldn’t be hard.
  • Promote my online memory course and add more courses. My online memory course has made me a small amount of money so far. This could be a regular monthly outcome for life. I want to work out how to get more traffic to it and sell more of them. Will help me with doing comedy full time. Have a swatch at my course here. You can get a discount on it by using the codev (Hugediscount). I also have some ideas for other course I can do. So I’m looking to add to this one this year.
  • Give up my day job. I work in a warehouse during the day just now. It bores me to tears. The money is shite and I spend a lot of hours doing it. Doing my solo shows is a profitable business so I plan to make it happen this year. I’ll also do my regular gigs for comedy clubs. Will alwasy do these as well. Its not easy making it a full time career doing just these thats why I have to do the solo shows as well. The solo shows also give me more freedom to be myself on stage. There are less time constraints and there are no promoters telling me how I should behave :) THe other reason I want to do more solo shows is to build my own audience. If you have ever been to a comedy club before you have probably had a great laugh and a good time, but if I asked you who you saw on the night you wouldn’t remember. Thats another reason I want to do this. If I can build my own following these people will come back and see me again the following year or so. Works in Edinburgh so no reason it shouldn’t work elsewhere.


Anyway. Thats me got that stuff out of my system. I’ve just read the book by Danny Wallace called the Yes Man. You should read it. The basic idea from it is that you should say yes more to opportunities that come your way. Failing along the ay is ok, but living with the regret of not even trying is not ok.

Have a good 2016 and that.

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Warm up mini tour Glasgow Friday 23rd and Saturday 24th of October.


I’m planning a solo tour of my stand up next year around the country. I’ve got a warm up mini tour on Saturday the 23rd and 24th of October in Glasgow. Have a swatch bellow for more details. Get out your comfort zome and come along and have some fun.


Obie: Solo Stand Up Show. Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone.

Obie has been a stalwart on the Scottish Comedy circuit for sixteen years. He regularly headlines comedy clubs around the country. He has been performing solo shows in comedy festivals for the past ten years. He is now taking his show on tour around the country.

Obies comedy is unique. His style is off the wall. As well as having great original material, his audience interaction is hilarious. He is also known to go off on wild tangents that can take youi anywhere. This combined with a pinch of unpredictability makes each show a unique and entertaining experience.

Obie isn’t as well knows as big names like Kevin Bridges and Frankie Boyle however you will enjoy his shows in a small intimate venue.

We are so sure you will enjoy the show that we are guarinteeing it. As a guarintee of your enjoyment of the show we are making each show free entry. You only pay something at the end of the show if you had fun and enjoyed the show. In this show you get to pay what you thing the show is worth. You can’t say fairer than that.

Come along and see one of his shows at either Blackfriars, Bells St, Merchant City Glasgow on the 23rd of October ( Doors 7:30 pm for 8pm start)or on Saturday the 24th October in Tennenrts Bar, 191 Byres Road, Glasgow ( West End) ( 7:30 pm for 8pm start).

Get yourself along there to enjoy the madness. Anything can happen. Just turn up on the night or reserve a ticket by clicking one of the following links. Friday Show. Saturday Show.  See you there :)



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